i really don't want this much responsibility for my own future. what does that mean?!
i don't really believe in the western medicine as much as the eastern but the way they break things down to statistics and categories and scare tactics does effect me. so now, i've been saying for months that my treatment would stop after radiation and i would decline the hormone therapy because of the 3% risk of uteran cancer and the time span of not being able to breed and the side effects that make it similar to radiation and chemo but for five fucking years. and now i find myself with prescription in hand. i feel scared and that is all. i trust the eastern doctor but they dont use scare tactics so their voice is not contrary to western inmy mind.aaa  i just want to be done and be healthy now.