Whatever yoyoing I'm doing on the scale- I think I'm finally ok with it. I feel pretty strong today and I'm at 117. I hit 114 this week and I'm finding out I should concentrate on eating good high calorie foods and lots of protiens and sense my strength and heart and stop looking at that number. I don't know why its taken so long to believe that.

Hyperpigmentation. My hands look like they are dip-dyed. and I keep finding new "freckles" or splotches in new spots. "Mee's lines" and "Beau's lines"= no nail polish.  Teatree oil and vitamin E oil should help manage and it will grow out once the chemo is done. My fingers are supposed to begin feeling numb or tingly.... so far only the nails feel bruised, like I wore too-tight shoes.

My joints are super weak, I need exercise. I signed up for a class with a friend- low impact, Im hoping I'll be able to do it. If not, and maybe either way, I am gonna buy those little 80's weights and start some joint-building at home. he he

Started Taxol and ended Adriocytoxan. I think this is going to be amazingly easier. If I didnt have to get my wisdom teeth out last week, it wouldve been easier.

115. :/

122 weigh in.
new drug. push at the end is what made me sick... working on my perception to not feel that every week.


Its really really funny to me the things and the words that people gift me coming from a good place in their heart. I'm not sure if it is that they want to do something for me and have no idea what or if they think I need it or if they need it. If it gives them comfort, that is fine with me, I accept the positivity.

weighed in at 125 on thursday.

fingers are darkening along with nail beds. weird.

119lbs. time to eat lots.