Gratitude.

10/30/14
This is the end of “Breast Cancer Awareness Month.” I know that themed months have some purpose, but every day is breast cancer awareness for me. And I want to spend every month remembering my people, my culture, my history. It’s been three years and four months since my diagnosis and about two years since “active” treatment. I don’t agree with the ideas of winning or loosing with cancer. I don’t even agree with the concept of “battling” it. I don’t want to give it so much power. I am here, thankful, lucky. But this has been a very rough week. Rough month. Rough year. With all the loss. So many people who have shaped my life are shaping it from a different existence now. Yosra El-Essawy and Ms. Catherine Arline have seared themselves onto my vision of the world… even if we were not best friends, my best friends were their best friends and that made them both family. And they were both so insanely special. That empty feeling that loss gives you- cores out your guts, twists your throat, steams your eyes and makes my fingers and toes tingle. I think everyone who knows either of them will be feeling their absence for a very long time. Ms. Arline’s faith in our artwork, support of my friend, her open mindedness, humor… Kambui: remember when she first met me and was confused that I was actually named Heather (because that was her generic name for all girls). Yosra’s light- I don’t understand how someone could give such infectious optimism, positivity and charm even when she was telling a dark or sarcastic joke or in the middle of treatment… telling me I was her example or was strong, lord, she was strength. One of those people who make you feel better just taking a stroll through the city with. I have some anger that those two were the ones who had to move on. So unfair. Yosra was just beginning to change the world and Ms. Arline was the stilts for BedStuy. I can't imagine being in the shoes of my friends who were closer to them. Sending light and love and hearts and stars to you, Natasha and K-boogie, Hank, Anna and their families. I am grateful to have had them as part of my life. I am grateful to be here.

http://www.yosra.co.uk/
http://teamslugslayer.com/about-yosra/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2448991/Yosra-El-Essawy-Meet-photographer-Beyonces-official-tour-pictures.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHwVTptVgFM